Vidjama Gmaes Work

You can’t BS the internet.

Here’s a thing about the internet; it’s really hard to make things disappear after they’ve existed somewhere. Unless we’re talking about speed running archives from the early 2000s in which case those bastards are probably gone forever. But I digress.

The point is that if you’re going to say something doesn’t exist, you better be sure it doesn’t exist because odds are it’ll take less than twenty minutes for a dozen people to prove you wrong and leave you hanging.

If you’ve been following the game Fortune’s Run you’ll know that Valve keeps rejecting their builds over a depicted rape. And out of a number of developers who showed up to add their uninvited two cents, who else but Running With Scissors and their social media intern to, uh, tell them they should censor the game because shock value isn’t worth it.

Hilarious coming from Running With Scissors, a developer whose entire existence is owed to shock value.

Whoever is handling the Twitter account at RWS gets offended over a comment about their blue checkmark and goes on to accuse the Fortune’s Run developer of “glorifying rape,” even though the scene from the game is explicitly described as purposely being as ungratifying as possible.

An idiotic take? Sure. But like any good Samaritan, the RWS Twitter account decides to dig itself in deeper by stating “We never had rape in our games and we never will.”

Well…that is up to interpretation. Sure you never have sex, but Postal absolutely has sexual assault depicted in it. You can whip out your penis and non-consensually piss on people until they throw up. There’s a whole mechanic in the game around brutally sodomizing a cat with a weapon to use as a silencer until it dies, a feature RWS is so proud of that in the 20th anniversary update earlier this year they greatly expanded the number of guns you could shove up a cat’s ass.

And even then, Running With Scissors thinks rape is hilarious. In Postal 2 the player is captured by rednecks who dress him in a gimp suit and discuss who is going to rape him first, a reference to Deliverance as well as Pulp Fiction. There’s a scene in the Postal movie where Verne Troyer’s character is raped to death by a thousand monkeys to herald the apocalypse, again meant to be hilarious. Probably because it is. Postal 2 even had an achievement with a rape joke in it.

Only RWS says it doesn’t.

Like I said, you can’t lie to the internet. The account doubles down on the lying and calling out the user;

And while it’s true that the achievement is now called “Ape Gape,” it is indisputable that it used to be called “Ape Rape.” It came in the same update where Running With Scissors toned down a bunch of their achievements including ones titled “Cesar Millan is gay” and “bitches love cake” and one depicting Gary Coleman riding a giant penis. And let’s not pretend that putting Milo in Paradise Lost was for any reason other than cheap shock value.

The easiest way to win the game of the internet is to simply not play. RWS’ social media person could have just not interjected themselves in a discussion that had nothing to do with their studio and not expose themselves as disingenuous.