Vidjama Gmaes Work

It’s time to play.

Yakuza 0 is a perfect example how bad my time jumping is in real life, because I thought I talked about the first chapter about a month ago and it’s been four months.

Chapter 2 continues the investigation into the Tachibana Real Estate company, a group of thugs that even have the Yakuza scared. You mean Tachibana himself at the start who reveals that he wants Kiryu to join his group and help them take over the empty lot. Kiryu says no thanks and deuces out. Instead of outright dismissing the idea, because Tachibana also offers to prove Kiryu’s innocence, Kiryu investigates around town to discover that the Tachibana are hiring homeless people to get drunk and piss all over real estate they want. Like cats marking their territory.

My big “oh damn” moment in this chapter is the dude who holds out at the store. First you think he’s there for the sake of honor but it turns out the guy is just a shrewd businessman and kind of an asshole willing to put his family’s life at risk holding out for more money. Taking his 6 million Yen and planning on yeeting himself out, Kiryu meets Jun Oda. Bet I won’t be beating his ass any time soon.

Anyway, Jun Oda is the big boss fight of this chapter. After whooping Oda’s ass, Tachibana shows up again to reveal that this was all a big employment test. He’d love to have us on board and just wanted to see how good we’d do. And we came well recommended, as his mole within the Dojima family was none other than Kazama himself. Dun dun dunnnn!

Let’s talk about some stuff I did this chapter.

1. Mr. Shakedown

I’d like to say Mr. Shakedown can eat my entire ass, but I have a feeling this is one of those fights I’m going to be really proud of myself for later on when I finally kick the crap out of this guy and win. Mr. Shakedown is one of the first things you’re introduced to in Chapter 2 and he’s a guy who can beat your ass in roughly three hits flat and will take all of your money if he does. Thankfully he keeps the money on him, so you can always find him again and try again. And lose again.

Just wait until I have an inventory full of healing items you fat shmuck.

2. Panic At the Disco

I played through the disco for a good hour straight at least, completing roughly half the list of songs before I couldn’t continue any further. I love rhythm games and I like to think I’m pretty good at them. Even aced the hardest mode on Ouendan 1 & 2 back in the DS era when I had to spend $70 to get those carts from Japan. The problem with the disco mini-game here is that it eventually devolves into visual overload.

3. Making Friends

I made a couple of friends this chapter. Specifically Officer Kikuchi and Miho. For Officer Kikuchi I just have to walk past him every once in a while and subject myself to his stop and search. I’m sure he’ll get his confidence back in no time. Miho meanwhile is a clerk at a local store who likes me more the more I buy stuff from her. Sounds incredibly health. There’s apparently a good couple dozen people to befriend and get stuff from, so we’ll keep an eye out for that.

4. Side Quests

I love the side quests in Yakuza but man are they creepy sometimes. The first side quest I did involved freeing a high school girl caught up in a used panty-selling ring. It only took being attacked by a crazed old creeper with a knife for the head girl to have a come to Jesus moment. I assisted a dominatrix in regaining her self-confidence to whip men old enough to be her dad. I joined a weird fight club and became a bouncer in exchange for extra fight moves. Oh and there was helping out with a commercial shoot as a fake producer.

Yakuza has its touch of crazy, and I’m not a prude, but maybe they could have left out the scene where Kiryu and a dominatrix act out a roleplay session in front of a group of confused children at the local park.

I’ll be doing this once a week going forward.