Vidjama Gmaes Work

For your service to the Duke.

Chivalry 2 is one of those games I keep coming back to, in large part because it’s a great game to blow off some steam and just murder hundreds upon hundreds of stupid bots. On the other hand, it’s a game I will happily play with other people while fully acknowledging that I am not and will never be as good as the level 600+ sweaty dweebs who do nothing but eat, drink, and sweat Chivalry 2.

Bot matches in Chivalry 2 pit you on teams with roughly 5 players and 20 bots per side, and it serves one purpose and two purposes only; power fantasy and grinding your levels. And up until this week I’ve never been quite powerful enough to get to the top of the leaderboard on the bot mode either, because that mode is also filled with sweaty dweebs. And I say until this week because I finally did it. I got to play as The Duke. And I met Brad Pitt Jesus.

If you don’t know about Chivalry 2, the game has an ongoing campaign detailing the war between the Masons and Agathians, and each mission is a series of objectives in that war. In this particular one during the final objective one player gets to play as the Duke and try to survive while the other team storms in and tries to kill him. And I’m pretty sure that the top player gets first choice to become the Duke, which was me. And I did.

With my faithful bodyguard Brad Pitt Jesus who admittedly was killed a couple of times. Once perhaps accidentally by my blade in the scuffle. But the point is that I did survive the fight and our team won the match, and it was all thanks to the sacrifice of Brad Pitt Jesus. And to that I say amen.

Chivalry 2 is free on Epic Games Store for the week and is running a double experience event until June 6.